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went to therapy and also told my mum

Therapy session. Told my mum

I have not written in a long time, practically since January or February

the main reason why I am getting hyped to start writing again is because I just repaired my android phone

I saw all those things I wrote in a span of like 2 to 3 years ago. Now, I know this blog is very confusing even for me so the next time I am uploading a blog post I will also upload the time I used to write it,

Like a date that was in the notes and I am not sure I still have the screenshot but I was told to try it if rereading the them make me go back to my depressed state.

Anyways, the time I was not writing I was trying to fix my life and right now I am not going crazy again lol.

So I was just in school and people where like having a discussion (I am trying to be honest as possible because I feel like it’s all part of my growth process which include the blog and all)

Besides when I was in some depressed shit, you all have to know

So on that day, I couldn’t quite remember the class we were having but the woman was running late for the lecture which I also late for so I had to sit at the back of pfa.{ performing art theater}

Therapy session.

This people were already discussing this issue prior to when I entered and sat down.

And the first thing I heard was a lady who I remember seeing in the new hostel and also she was definitely staying two rooms down from my room and the first thing she said was I feel like the girl should tell her parents

This made me interested about what a girl should actually tell her parents. anyways they continue the conversion and then they were talking about a girl that was assaulted. I can’t say for certain where exactly this happen as I don’t want to spread false rumors as you all know where I school. they gave reason and I felt that because part of the reasons that they gave was the lady wouldn’t be able to contribute to any meaning full conversions or school work. Then I thought about myself and everything that went in my life till that moment and to be honest I kind of felt tired for everything that had happened to me in this past year and the year before that.

That day which was a Monday I called my mum and was like where are you I got something to tell you and she said that she was at work and I was like I need you to go home because the thing I am about to tell you is very important.

Therapy session.

 I told her when she got home

And before I was done with it she had already crying and asking God why all these things happened to her. That she prays, pay her titles, does church work and all that.

And I was like I need you to clean your tears because I am only telling you this and no one else so don’t tell daddy or anyone and she was like ohk

later that evening, I saw her in my school. she drove all the way here. And you could see she has been crying all the way.

For one I never thought she would react this way and like I told you before she somehow believe it’s the girls fault that she was raped; I was expecting talks on why I would go to a guy’s room and night and all that and how I had abort the baby without telling anyone and stuff like that but she never even said that. When I saw her she just hugged me and continued crying and I am like??????????????????

Is this my mum, my Nigerian mother hugging me in the middle of my hostel and crying???

And when I was like mummy you need to calm down that she started talking about getting tested and all and I was like that will not be necessary since I have had sex with people after that and I also told her about my relationship with my boyfriend and how he helped me grow as an individual.

Therapy session.

It wasn’t until later that night that James called that my mum called him thanking him for taking care of her daughter that she didn’t know I was going through that and if he had a suggestion to make me better and he said I should sign up for therapy and be open about it.

You see that abortion story and how I said it was in my daft for so long and I didn’t publish it for some reason, it was my mum said I should. It would make me feel better but right now I still can’t bring myself to write the second part of it and my mum keeps on apologizing for all the pains and tears I went through and how I was losing my mind.

Anyways since I was in school and my mother can’t afford a therapy session she signed me up with a therapist from one online therapy platform in Nigeria and I have been video calling her ever since and this woman is so supportive with all of my decision.

I feel like I had said enough.

Therapy session.

It’s been more than a month now I think but I feel like I am not ready to let the rest of my family know about what happened because I wouldn’t be able to stand the pain of everything.

Seeing my mother like that was enough pain and she repaired my phone for me to find all the journals that I had lost in case I would want to post them later in the future.

Well i just want to say that when I finally tell all my siblings I will do a face reveal and before then mange me like this

Feels good to write positive things. Like good thoughts in my mind

And again me and James are travelling outta Nigeria when I am done with my exams because my mum approve. Very lovely for your mum to know about your relationship.

Its time to travel the world baby. I would talk about the trip but not too much details as people know that I am also travelling not only you my dear readers

So good to feel like this again

Not having any doubt, just feeling loved

Anyways I have exams to write starting with gst on Friday see you when I see you

Ciao Maureen

The love of your life.

Note: I feel like I have been thinking of telling my mum since but that talk was the driving force to all things good

And yes I would star this post before you read the others so that new people will know that I am trying to be in a better place. Might not be what I was before all things considered with the child and stuffs but then I smile.

I smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

therapy session

Thanks for listening and reading

Something missing

entertainment niche and why people are obsessed 

Watching paranormal activity at night

Happy new year 2022

Finding my niche was important

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